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Dusk

By
The glowing hills invite the sun,
And stillness sets in gradually—
Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity.

Lazy herds placidly wend their way,
Lost travellers trudge painfully ahead,
The stillness drives the calm fitfully away—
Broken souls search for a long-lost bed.

Quiet, calm; the mute, fractured peace
Stirs up warped memories and emotions—
And as scorched leaves quiver in the eerie breeze
The deepening night serves up blind passions…

Comments

Shubhodeep said…
okay, pincushion. now, i just hope this meets your standards and does not disappoint you. this is a different sort of outlook i adopted.
11:37 PM
Blue Athena said…
Hmmm.

the broken peace
does not silence lend
that a soul yearns for
after a long-winding day

the stillness
does not the calm lend
that a wayfarer craves for
on a battle-weary way

:)

PS: Poignant. Keep writing!
12:40 AM
Anonymous said…
Nice work- I feel like I'm there.
These some phrases that reached out and touched me:
"Lazy herds placidly wend their way,"
"the mute, fractured peace" (love "fractured peace") and the word "quiver" is a favorite of mine.
11:28 AM
Russell CJ Duffy said…
pincushion will undoubtedly love it.bloody cool.
3:27 PM
Casablanca said…
But why do we always associate dusks with sadness? I think sometimes they are beautiful... peaceful... serene.
4:06 PM
Anonymous said…
Very nice indeed. Love the new blog.
12:25 AM
Anonymous Poet said…
Hi! Just stopping by, as you asked!

Your prose hear is lucid and smooth. The images are deep and real.

Especially, I like the repeated soft "s" sounds. They give this piece a muted, haunting sound.

The glowing hills invite the sun,
And stillness sets in gradually—
Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity.

Lazy herdS plaCidly wend their way,
LoSt travellerS trudge painfully ahead,
The Stillness driveS the calm fitfully away—
Broken SoulS Search for a long-lost bed.

Quiet, calm; the mute, fractured peaCE
StirS up warped memorieS and emotionS—
And as Scorched leaveS quiver in the eerie breeze
The deepening night ServeS up blind passionS…


Especially, I like: Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity. That really sets the mood for the whole piece. It evokes a mundane kind of endless purgatory.

Thanks for stopping by my stite. Please come again.

Bye!
8:13 AM
Nicole Braganza said…
Thank you Shubho for another beautiful poem and thanks to Anonymous poet for making my experience of re-reading the poem more magical than the first, for sensitizing us to the sounds of this poem.
2:54 PM
Roger Stevens said…
Nice poem. Have you written any sonnets? I think this poem would work very well as a sonnet - especially if you could get that short long short long metre going.
6:21 AM
Pincushion said…
Gosh!!
'my standards'?!!
I am honoured that you should say that but truly what you have written is wonderful! The imagery is so strong that I could almost 'see' it, its a scene I'd love to paint!
Thank you for your kind words and NO..i am most certainly NOT disappointed! CJ was right :))
9:57 PM
Jyotsna said…
beautiful verse on Dusk...
1:35 PM
Sue hardy-Dawson said…
Lovely with some very lucid immages
11:23 PM
Anonymous said…
Hi- I came back in to see if you had posted any new writing and noticed that you put me on your blogroll. Thank you! I like your work, too and reciprocated links. :)
4:10 PM
Shubhodeep said…
blue athena >> hmmm. poignant oservations. keep visiting.

silvy >> glad that that you liked the poem (or is it phrases?)

cj >> i hope so. thank you.

casa >> yes, indeed dusk is indeed a beautiful time, but you see, that by the time dusk falls, most poeple are already sick and tired of the day that has been. correct me if i am wrong.

liam, nicole, jyotsna, sue >> thanks

anon >> thank you for visiting and making me aware of aspects in my poetry that, to be truthful, even I wasn't aware of. please visit again.

roger >> 's been a long time! i could try but somehow i can never make poetry deliberately. but i think i will give it a try some day

pin >> yay, i've passed the test. thanks for ur comments. i'd love you to paint this. please do.

silvy >> it's my pleasure. and, i'm honoured
7:54 PM
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