The glowing hills invite the sun,
And stillness sets in gradually—
Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity.
Lazy herds placidly wend their way,
Lost travellers trudge painfully ahead,
The stillness drives the calm fitfully away—
Broken souls search for a long-lost bed.
Quiet, calm; the mute, fractured peace
Stirs up warped memories and emotions—
And as scorched leaves quiver in the eerie breeze
The deepening night serves up blind passions…
And stillness sets in gradually—
Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity.
Lazy herds placidly wend their way,
Lost travellers trudge painfully ahead,
The stillness drives the calm fitfully away—
Broken souls search for a long-lost bed.
Quiet, calm; the mute, fractured peace
Stirs up warped memories and emotions—
And as scorched leaves quiver in the eerie breeze
The deepening night serves up blind passions…
Comments
the broken peace
does not silence lend
that a soul yearns for
after a long-winding day
the stillness
does not the calm lend
that a wayfarer craves for
on a battle-weary way
:)
PS: Poignant. Keep writing!
These some phrases that reached out and touched me:
"Lazy herds placidly wend their way,"
"the mute, fractured peace" (love "fractured peace") and the word "quiver" is a favorite of mine.
Your prose hear is lucid and smooth. The images are deep and real.
Especially, I like the repeated soft "s" sounds. They give this piece a muted, haunting sound.
The glowing hills invite the sun,
And stillness sets in gradually—
Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity.
Lazy herdS plaCidly wend their way,
LoSt travellerS trudge painfully ahead,
The Stillness driveS the calm fitfully away—
Broken SoulS Search for a long-lost bed.
Quiet, calm; the mute, fractured peaCE
StirS up warped memorieS and emotionS—
And as Scorched leaveS quiver in the eerie breeze
The deepening night ServeS up blind passionS…
Especially, I like: Weary peasants move slowly on
Their path to a depressing eternity. That really sets the mood for the whole piece. It evokes a mundane kind of endless purgatory.
Thanks for stopping by my stite. Please come again.
Bye!
'my standards'?!!
I am honoured that you should say that but truly what you have written is wonderful! The imagery is so strong that I could almost 'see' it, its a scene I'd love to paint!
Thank you for your kind words and NO..i am most certainly NOT disappointed! CJ was right :))
silvy >> glad that that you liked the poem (or is it phrases?)
cj >> i hope so. thank you.
casa >> yes, indeed dusk is indeed a beautiful time, but you see, that by the time dusk falls, most poeple are already sick and tired of the day that has been. correct me if i am wrong.
liam, nicole, jyotsna, sue >> thanks
anon >> thank you for visiting and making me aware of aspects in my poetry that, to be truthful, even I wasn't aware of. please visit again.
roger >> 's been a long time! i could try but somehow i can never make poetry deliberately. but i think i will give it a try some day
pin >> yay, i've passed the test. thanks for ur comments. i'd love you to paint this. please do.
silvy >> it's my pleasure. and, i'm honoured