And so when I go to sleep tonight
I'll put my dreams on hold
and strip them bare.
I'll pull my blanket over my eyes
and hope they won't find me.
I hope they won't come
and tear my blanket away
and leave me shivering in
the music-less night.
I'll hope they won't take my belongings
and scream with their eyes.
I'll hope they won't give me the inevitable
blood-draining news:
That I'm just a ghost now
That my past is dead
That nothing belongs to me anymore
That I was living in falseness
That tomorrow I should take my wife
and children and start living in parking lots.
That the millions I invested
have crumbled to dust.
That my past was a lie
That my present and future
are incompatible.
That my family will have to
beg to exist.
That we have nothing to
call our own.
That our private lives have become
public objects.
That I won't be able to hug my children
in a few quiet moments of solitude.
That from now on, whenever I have to
make love, I'll have to remember that
strange eyes are always looking.
That this is the curse for daring to dream.
...I'm afraid of riches now
I'm afraid to live in
palaces of ephemeral opulence.
I'm afraid of them.
I'm afraid of floating on clouds
I'm afraid of floating on clouds
that crash into mountains.
I'm afraid of hope...
I'm afraid of hope...
But it's all I have
So I'll hope that hope succeeds.
I'll hope that hopes succeeds
So tonight when I go to sleep
I'll hope that the screams inside
my head finally stop.
When I go to sleep tonight
I'll put my dreams on hold
so that the dreams I've built my life on
don't break so soon.
Comments
Thanks for your comments at my blog.
I deeply hope your dreams are restful ones, not screaming nightmares. As a kid and even as an adult I "hide in my blankets." Do you?
Anyway, I wanted you to know I was delighted to see you comment on my blog. I have tried several times in the past couple of months to come here, but "BLOGGER" required a password for your blog and I had misplaced your email so I had no way to come in.
It's so good to hear from you and read your writing again.
You know I'm rereading your prose...
That's a strong line
"I'm afraid of hope..." Interesting trying to get into the mind of the writer.
-Silvy aka gel
Really. I must say, it was slightly scary but a very..beautiful and personalized view of the crashing economy. We usually view it in terms of stocks and bonds, forgetting the hundreds of dreams that come crashing down with it.
Also, thankyou for your comment on my post. ;]
silvy >> i like blankets but i prefer thinking of them as refuges rather than hiding-places. thanks for coming here. i had temporarily disabled access to the blog. but it's up again.
roger >> so do i :)
chaitali >> thanks for your kind comment. do keep visiting.
-Aishwarya(Aditi's friend)
keep writing....waiting for more. loved reading your poems.