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grayscale

piano notes
under the greyness
of a wet sky

and within
warped walls of a room,
the mustiness

of yellowed paper,
and glazed eyes
on the whiteness

of cement; and
somewhere on a
scratched, faded wall,

tired hands resting
in the hope of
regaining hope.

Comments

Shubhodeep said…
at some level, i believe this poem is inspired by haiku... anyway, you are the best judge...
Priyanka said…
I do see some haiku influence but only coz you mentioned it and i started looking at it with that perspective! :)
But aside that, I still think its really nicely written!
gulnaz said…
its difficult to believe that it is written by an 18 year old...it speaks of a maturity beyond your years... the tiredness, the hope, the bleakness of the surroundings against the beauty of the first haiku is brilliant.
Shubhodeep said…
well heeled >> welcome and thanks for the comment... do visit again..

gulnaz >> this comes from someone who is fast becoming my favs on blogosphere.. thanks a lot for your comment... although i wouldnt be able to say if its a good thing or not to write maturely when i tend to be such a nitwit at times...
Anonymous said…
lovely words...nicely written!
Shubhodeep said…
kalyan >> welcome n thanks :)
The haiku image is more surreal and vivid in a different way than the rest of the images. The remaining ones are clear and very strongly attached to the sensorial abilities. The combination of the two types of images produces a profound resonance within us. I enjoyed this very much.
Shubhodeep said…
russell

Thank you. It is after I wrote a few lines that I realized that I had incorporated some aspects of haiku into this poem

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